As scholars we spend hours of study time burning the midnight oil in sophisticated silence of the night that is not so sinister to us (at least now more than ever) until the Early hours of the morning…oh my word the preparation is very unrelenting!
The anxiety can be so crippling, in learning institutions , the anticipation for those dreadful weeks in October and November starts as early as August. Facilitators ,Lectures, Professors and Tutors stoke and embed distress by painting horrific images of the situation to be faced shortly. I for one have never come across anyone who is looking forward to being tested, I surely never enjoyed it not because I am afraid of getting educated but, the fear of failing. To be honest i am terrified of trying and not succeeding.
What is Valentine’s Day for men, if not another examination? A day meant to celebrate love have decayed into a commercialized mess because we’re told that we have to buy things to show how much we love our partners-The more expensive, the better. Because of the general concept of relationships, “it is the man who must make a plan “. It is expected of the dude to buy some kind of gesture to signify his love.
The worst thing about Valentine’s Day is the fact that it is embedded into the calendar and because the women knows it’s coming, the man cannot escape it. Because of the expectation and the understandable desire on the behalf of the man to make his woman happy, there’s tons of pressure to be creative and genuine. (If he is my kinda dude) he has to prepare, he has to deliver, the price for failing is bitter.
Ladies do you forgive your man if he somehow trip on V-day?... See what I mean? In his head, he is once more anxiously trying to cram the equations and formulas into his head for the statistics exam he has to face. Hold up… this is not to say that man are not romantic or do not want to be, but the absolute nature of V-day is very limiting. Not all chaps think that the best way to show their affection is a candlelit dinner and diamond rings or all these other cliché cards, glasses and teddy bear and roses…NO!
We are different and every relationship has its own unique traits. My significant other and I often go and hang out in parks or botanical gardens for picnics and get to observe nature,grab a bite and sip some while having face time (with the phone on flight mode of course ) . other couples go to art galleries, clubs or bungee jumping together. For many men, 14 February feels distressingly unspontaneous because they do things we wouldn’t do. I do not doubt there is also pressure from the women’s side to play along, to say “my bae did not do anything for V-day” would surely prompt a response full of sympathy.
It would help if V-day was treated just like a birthday, you see one isn’t expected to repeat the same thing every B-day over and over again. When thinking of buying a present, we imagine the recipient and try buy something meaningful. The best birthday gifts are somewhat personal and show that people care. The same thing cannot be said for yet another teddy with a heart and a rose.
